


Doll Me Up

by Chatoyanto



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Crossdressing, M/M, Panties, Smut, Voyeurism, broad shoulders, kyungsoo being forgetful, like he has a real knack for never remembering anything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-07-12 05:19:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15988454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chatoyanto/pseuds/Chatoyanto
Summary: Kyungsoo wasn't sure when it started. His...obsession. It wasn't like he'd just woken up one morning and gone, "Fuck yeah wearing girls clothing gets me hard and what gets me harder is wearing it in public."





	1. Of Shoulders And Skirts

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic posted on AFF two years ago. Hope you'll enjoy it! (:

Kyungsoo wasn't sure when it started.  
His...obsession. It wasn't like he'd just woken up one morning and gone, "Fuck yeah wearing girls’ clothing gets me hard and what gets me harder is wearing it in public."  
If he really thinks about it though, it probably all started on the day he tried on that goddamn costume for his high school play. Attending an all-boys school and being in the drama club equated to some poor guy having to shave his legs and squeeze into a dress. And it was in his final year of high school that Kyungsoo was unfortunate enough to be that poor guy. Not that he had to do much shaving or squeezing.  
He was one of the lucky few that happened to be oh so blessed with little to no hair on his body, except for the hair on his head. Sadly, not the southern head. Sometimes he'd just sit on the toilet and stare at his balls, reminiscing about the time when he'd discovered his first hair on his jewels. Little did he know that was to be the first and last hair he'd grow in that area.  
Naturally, everyone thought that Kyungsoo’s lack of bodily hair and his petite form, thanks mom, was all the more reason for Kyungsoo to play the female part in the play. You're made for the role Kyungie. Fuckers. He wasn't the only female part though. There was also Byun Baekhyun playing a girl. The difference of course was that Baekhyun had volunteered. Kyungsoo was coerced. Forced and stripped of his male pride and clothing just to see if there really isn’t hair down there because surely you have some. Funny how things have changed. Now it doesn't take much to get Do Kyungsoo into a pair of lacy panties.  
Ladies undergarments were not included in the outfit for the play however. What he was required to wear was a simple short skirt, a pretty blouse and some jewelry. Quite average. In retrospect the play wasn't much either. The drama club was kind of lazy, so they didn't put that much effort into their annual concerts. But for the sake of not wanting to be kicked out and forced to do an extracurricular activity like sport, which Kyungsoo’s bones were just not made for, they slapped together a play based off a script downloaded off the internet and made people pay to watch.  
And boy did Kyungsoo like being watched.  
The rush he got when he stepped on stage was incomprehensible. Incomparable. No matter how many times he steps onto the train dressed fully in a schoolgirl uniform or a summer dress, nothing compares to the way he felt when all eyes were on him as he stood on stage in his short skirt and blouse.  
As the play had progressed Kyungsoo had found it increasingly hard to stay still. His body had grown hot and sweated all over. It was a living room scene, and everyone was seated. But the sweat made his thighs stick to the leather seats and it was uncomfortable. When he'd shifted to find a more comfortable position, the skirt had caught on his bracelet. He pulled to dislodge it, but it'd only served to fling his skirt up and holy shit his crotch was on display. Blushing furiously, he quickly covered himself up, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. Only one guy in the front row had and it was evident by the bulge, that was conveniently the only thing visible from stage because we don't need to see their faces or else we'll get nervous Mr Lighting manager-person, he tried to cover up with the programme that he was very appreciative.  
Needless to say, when he got home that night he immediately put the stage outfit back on. Staring at himself in the mirror he recalled the feeling of having the stranger’s eyes in him. On his body. Watching him. Getting hard for Kyungsoo. His cock throbbed. Sitting down on the floor, he pulled up the front of the skirt and gripped it with his teeth to keep it up. A wet spot had formed on the front of his underwear where his cock was leaking. He was so hard. So stiff and aching to have those eyes on him again. Drinking up the sight of Kyungsoo dressed so slutty. So needy. He palmed his hard on through the material of his underpants. Eyes. Watching Focused solely on Kyungsoo. In his short skirt and blouse. He came in his briefs with a muffled cry.  
But he wasn't satisfied. Every evening he'd wait until his parents had gone out, or till the household was asleep. Then he'd put on the outfit and proceed to masturbate furiously to the thought of that evening. But it wasn't enough. He needed to feel that rush again. That adrenaline he got from being so exposed. So bare. So alive. The feeling that if he just slightly lifted his skirt people would be aching for him. For Kyungsoo.  
It was almost a year later that Kyungsoo actually considered going outside dressed in a skirt.

 

"I'm thinking of going as like a vampire or a werewolf or something for Halloween" Baekhyun mused.  
"Yes, you and fifty other people are thinking of going as a vampire or werewolf", Kyungsoo said dryly.  
"Oh shush. You're just salty because you have nothing in mind" he quipped back.  
"I do have something."  
"Oh? And what’s that?" He smirked. Bitch expects me to have nothing but oh boy do I have something.  
"I'll just cut some eye holes out of an old sheet and say I'm a ghost".  
"Good lord Kyungsoo, have you no dignity? I mean, I can accept it when you're young but you're practically an adult. You're in your prime! We are boys no longer! We are men now which means gone are the days of ghost costumes and pumpkin suits. Now is the time for sexy kitten and maid costumes and silky-"  
"I don't think that's how it works Baekhyu-"  
"Sshhh it's alright"  
This bitch cut me off..  
"I'm sure there’s an adult shop somewhere we can just go and-"  
"Baekhyun?" An unfamiliar voice called out from behind them.  
"Did someone just call my name?" Baekhyun stares at him.  
"Guilty" the alien voice says again with a laugh. Kyungsoo turns around curiously and is met with. A broad chest.  
Like hella broad.  
"Oh my goodness! Sehun! Hey! Wow it's been a while."  
Like fuck does this chest stretch on forever?  
"Yeah it has hasn't it? What have you been up to? You attend uni’ now right?"  
Like how wide actually is this guy's shoulders?  
"Yep. First year art student. And Kyungsoo here is a medical student. You remember Sehun right Kyungie? He went to the same high school as us, just a year lower."  
Like what is it, 49-50 cm?  
"Kyungsoo? Hello?"  
Oh right, Baekhyun.  
"Hmm what is it?  
Two blank stares met Kyungsoo’s innocent one.  
Mountain-shoulders' laughter broke the silence. "Well I guess it’s okay if you don't remember me that well. But I think Jongin will feel a little bit upset if you don't remember him."  
Baekhyun made curious ooh-sound at this, "You two are still friends? That's so cute. So I take it you came here together?"  
Sehun nodded, "Yeah he's in the changing room right now. We actually came here to shop for Halloween outfits. He’s not so big on the whole thing but I love it." Baekhyun’s face lit up like a motherfucking jack-o'-lantern. "Me. Too. Don't you just love the whole dressing up thing? I mean I get that we're supposed to be over it by now but there are so many more options to choose from now that we're," his voice dropped to a low whisper, "adults."  
Sehun’s eyes widened, damn this boy got a lot of wide things in his life, before he smirked. "I completely agree. I mean, when else do we get to go as sexy cats or my personal favourite, sexy firemen? They're known to pack quite big equipment "  
Baekhyun purred, "Is that so Mr Fireman? I myself always preferred the sexy maid costume. But I definitely wouldn't mind sliding down your fireman's pole.  
And that’s my cue to leave. Kyungsoo deftly removed himself from the conversation, not that I was ever part of it anyways, and walked over to the clothing racks on the other, very far "Maybe if you suck on my fireman's hose I'll put out the fire in your loins little maid", EXTREMELY far away side of the store.  
He perused through the clothing on one of the racks, not really looking at anything before he felt something. Smooth satin material caressed his hands. He pinched it between his fingers before sliding the skirt out from the clothing rack. He stared at it. Pretty. He held up the skirt to his waist and glanced at himself in a nearby mirror. The deep red material was a stark contrast against the rest of his pale features and only made him seem paler. The skirt was a bit wide, probably not his size but he could imagine it on him. It would cinch in at the waist and then fan out at the edges. So delicately.  
"Pretty." Said a voice behind him.  
"Yeah it is" Kyungsoo sighed.  
Wait.  
What?  
With an increasing feeling of dread, Kyungsoo looked up at the reflection of the person behind him.  
A guy with broad shoulders, was there a convention nearby, towered above Kyungsoo. A too-tight around the biceps white T-shirt was half tucked into blue stonewashed skinny jeans that seemed to never want to let go of the legs they clung to. Veiny arms trailed down to long fingers that held a dark leather jacket and Kyungsoo was done stalling by describing everything the man wore and instead blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "I don't work here.  
The light brown-haired man, stop stalling, blushed at this.  
"I know"  
Kyungsoo pointed in the direction of an employee, "If you need help that man over there will show you."  
The stranger blushed a deep red akin to that of the skirt. The skirt. Shit. "I just saw you over here and thought I'd come say hey," he smiled revealing pearly whites that will not be described further because how the fuck else do you describe teeth, "I didn't mean to disturb you while you were err..."  
Kyungsoo became a tomato. "No these aren't for me, I was just looking at it. I would never-"  
"It's okay I really understand." Jongin smiled the Colgate ad smile again, "I won't judge you. We all have our interests and I respect yours." He coughed awkwardly, "If it helps, I think that it would look really good on you."  
Silence.  
"Oh"  
"Yeah.."  
"Thank you."  
"Jongin! There you are." A flustered Sehun walked over to the pair with an equally flustered Baekhyun in tow. "Oh, I see you found Kyungsoo. Were you two catching up?" There was a suggestive tone to his voice.  
Jongin, was that it? , blushed yet again "No I was just saying hi to Kyungsoo, but he doesn't seem to remember me." He laughed bitterly.  
Dramatic gasp. Baekhyun squeezed his arm playfully before smiling forcefully at Kyungsoo, "You do remember Jongin right?" Which all translated to: "Don't embarrass me in front of Sehuns hot piece of ass or I swear to god I will remove every-  
"Of course, I remember Jongout"  
"Jongin" the grip around his arm got tighter.  
"I mean Jongin" Kyungsoo smiled sweetly. The name did sound familiar though, but from where...  
Sehun laughed, why are so many people laughing I see nothing funny about this situation, "There see Jongin, of course Kyungsoo remembers you. Nothing to worry about brosky." Who the fuck says brosky. But it was cute. Sehun was a good friend to Jungmin. Wait...friend...  
Kyungsoo snapped his fingers, "Wait now I know where I remember you from."  
Baekhyun sighed, "Yes we've just established that, we all went to high school together."  
"We went to the same high school?"  
Silencio.  
"But that's not the point. I realized where I know you from, you're..."  
Three eager faces wait with baited breath, "You're Sehun’s friend right Jungmin?" Kyungsoo exclaimed proudly. Ten points to Gryffindor baby "Sehun mentioned it earlier to Baekhyun. That's where I know you from. And you say I don't remember shit Baekhyun. Well how about that."  
Jongin seemed to have short circuited, "Sehun’s friend. Sehuns. Friend. Jung. Min.  
Sehun sighed, "Well I think it's time to take Jongin home I'll see you guys around." He looked at Baekhyun "You know where to find me little maid."  
Baekhyun winked.  
The pair walked away with Jongin still mumbling 'Sehuns friend' repeatedly.  
Baekhyun slung his arm around Kyungsoos shoulder, "Well I think we've had more than enough excitement for one day. Let's head home" he growled, "Although we didn't manage to get the fucking costumes that I wanted to get and just be- oh what's that."  
"Hmm?" Kyungsoo questioned. He never really paid attention to Baekhyuns rambling, "What's what?  
"That cute little satin item you've got there." Baekhyun grinned, "Oh don't tell me" he leaned forward and whispered into Kyungsoos ear "Is it part of your Halloween costume?"  
Kyungsoos shriek sounded like a pterodactyl and the strength with which he pushed Baekhyun off resembled a t-rex, "Don't be ridiculous! It was just laying on the floor so I picked it up to put it back."  
"Oh? Do you work here now?"  
Kyungsoo glared.  
"Relax I'm just kidding." Baekhyun frowned, "It's a shame though. It would've really suited you."  
Kyungsoo may just be going to prison for killing his best friend. For the good of society, I must.  
"Cmon little one. Maybe if we hurry we can still make it to the adult shop before the mall closes."  
The next day Kyungsoo was back in that same shop. He stood at the register with the skirt in hand as well as a top. When the lady at the register looked at him weirdly, he grabbed a birthday card and some wrapping paper.  
"Would you like me to wrap that for you sir?"  
Kyungsoo smiled sweetly. "Yes please, it's for my little sister."  
That was the first and far from the last time Kyungsoo used that excuse.


	2. Of Trains and Tallness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyungsoo hops on the train. Bumps into a familiar stranger.

This. Was a horrible idea.   
Kyungsoo always considered himself to be a smart young man, with all his wits about him. He did well all through his secondary education and this secured him a spot in the medical faculty at a prestigious university. He was by no means stupid.  
But if he had told anyone about what he was doing right now, they’d easily label him as the dumbest human to date. He thought about turning around. Just doing a full 360 and running right back up the stairs and calling an uber and going home. But as the voice over the loudspeaker announced that the doors to the train were opening, and as people began to push inside the train while others were simultaneously trying to push out of it; amongst all that Kyungsoo just let himself be led onto the train by the moving crowd.  
And now here was. Idiot of the century dressed up in a pink skirt, a pink ruffle sleeved shirt and a white cardigan, looking like a whole damn crayon on a train full of people heading to god only knows where. This was a horrible idea.   
But all he needed to do was figure out where this train was heading and come up with a plan to get the hell out of there. There was a slight jerk as the train began to move. It stabilised as it picked up speed and sped out of the station. He looked around him, taking in his surroundings for the first time. It was late afternoon, so it was mainly people heading home from work. Lots of businesspersons dressed in formal wear along with those dressed in casual clothes were packed into the carriage. Students as well it would seem. Kyungsoo prayed that he didn’t run into anyone he knew.   
Glancing around for any available seats he spotted one over near the metal sliding doors. Good. That way he could make a speedy escape once the doors opened at the next station. He squeezed between various passengers on his way over to the empty plastic seat trying not to make too much contact with the strangers. It was silent in the carriage aside from the mechanical whirring of the train on the tracks and the occasional cough. Ew. He sat down begrudgingly on the seat, wanting to wipe it with a tissue but not wanting to seem rude. Public transport did not suit Kyungsoos tastes. But it was the very public part of it that had made him decide to hop onto it dressed in womens clothing. Dressing up in his dorm room was all good fun, but it was always the public part of it that really excited him. The eyes on him. Giving him a once over or maybe lingering a little too long on his tiny waist and his pale neck. It was being looked at in the clothes, admired in them that really got his knees quivering.   
Although maybe he should’ve started in an area less public than a fucking train packed full of people at peak hour. But once again, Kyungsoo was revealing himself to be in fact a total idiot. Go big or go home baby.  
He had been so lost in berating himself that he hadn’t noticed the announcer proclaiming the arrival at the next station. Nor the doors opening, nor the people sitting next to him getting up to exit and new passengers boarding the train. By the time he heard the “Stand clear of closing doors” it was too late.  
His head whipped up as he turned to the window to see his chance of escape pass by. Or him pass by his chance of escape as the train pulled away. Fuck.  
He slid further down in his seat, trying his best to at least make himself unnoticed. He fiddled withbthe edge of his skirt, struggling to pull it down to cover his knees. He huffed in annoyance when it just kept pulling back up and exposing his legs. Normally this would make him ecstatic. He’d be revelling in being so exposed, as he did not have many opportunities to explore his, what appeared to be a cross-dressing slash voyeuristic kink thing. But right now, he was far from aroused. The panties he’d put on were starting to grow uncomfortable and the lace on the skirt edges were making him itch. He wanted to go home now.   
He looked around the train for the map of the train routes to at least figure out where he was. He cursed when he realised there had been one on the wall right across from him all along. He located the train that he was on and ran his eyes along the routes on the paper poster, trying to figure out which stop he needed to get off at to be closest to his campus. He didn’t mind taking an uber but shit. It was going to be very expensive if it turned out he was on the other side of the town. He was tracing a path along a red line when he found his vision was blocked by brown fur. Hair to be exact. A head to be specific. One that belonged to a very tall person because damn the map was high up. If your head was able to block it, you had to be one tall alien. Or maybe Kyungsoo was just short.   
He was about to politely ask the person that the obstructing head belonged to please move the fuck out of the way when his eyes landed on their face. A very familiar face. Shit. Kyungsoos eyes widened comically and he hunched his shoulders to draw himself further in. He knew that face. He just didn’t know how he knew that face. Did he go to his university? Was he someone he’d met before? It wasn’t one of those “passing stranger you’ve met before” faces. That was the face of someone he should know the name of. Which meant that he probably knew Kyungsoo too.   
He looked frantically around the carriage to find another seat he could sit at that would be far away from this guy that he knew but didn’t know. But just his luck. Every seat was taken. He glanced over at the guy out of the corner of his eye and screamed internally when he realised he was staring straight at him. Had he noticed him? Had he recognised Kyungsoo under the clothes and realised that he was sitting on a train dressed up as a girl? Was he going to laugh? Make fun of him? He prayed to god that the caked-layer of makeup he’d put on his face would be enough to disguise him. He whined. He should’ve worn a wig.   
He could still feel the guys running over him, staring into his chest. He pulled at the ruffled collar around his neck. It was starting to get hot. It was unnerving but at the same time…shit no Kyungsoo, this was not the time to be getting turned on. He chanced a glance at the guy. Big mistake. Their eyes met. Kyungsoo was panicking. He should’ve just stayed at home and played dress-up in the comfort of his own bedroom. But he had to go and be a dumbass. His eyes darted back to the guy, trying to discern what his motives were. He furrowed his brows in confusion. The guys face was…blank. There didn’t seem to be any hint of recognition in the guys eyes. There was no clear sign that he seemed to recognise Kyungsoo under all the layers. But he was still staring intently at him. There was a look of curiosity on the guys face, of...interest. Oh. Oh.  
Kyungsoo could feel his cheeks warming. He looked away, not trusting himself to not go full on firetruck-red if he maintained eye contact with the not-stranger-stranger. A warm feeling settled in the pit of his stomach when he realised what this meant. Not only was he unrecognisable in his outfit, but also, people were noticing him and were attracted to him dressed up like this. He must’ve looked more feminine in this outfit than he had originally thought, if he was managing to catch the eye of a, now that he thought about it, quite attractive stranger. He swallowed nervously and took in a deep breath. If the ball had already started rolling…it wouldn’t matter if he gave it a little bit of a push, right? He let his eyes slowly wander up to meet that of the guy sitting across from him.  
He saw his eyebrows raise slightly when he realised Kyungsoo was looking at him. Then a hesitant smile graced his face. Wow. That shit was beautiful. Coupled with the guys slightly tan skin, he was looking like yer olde Greek god. Kyungsoo had hit the jackpot with this one. Time to reel it in.   
He smiled hesitantly back at the guy, who’s smile grew wider at this. The man lifted his hand and did a little wave. Kyungsoo resisted the urge to snort at this. Was this how guys currently flirted with girls? Or maybe he was just one of those dorky ones. May as well humour him.  
He was about to open his mouth to let a soft and forcibly higher pitched “Hello” drift across the carriage to the guy when a loud chime interrupted him. The loudspeaker blared out the announcement once again as the train pulled to a halt at the station. The passengers around him started to get up and migrate towards the doors about to open, forming a huge sea of moving bodies. He looked out the window at the approaching station. Now was a good a time as any to get off the train and go home but he wanted to at least leave a last teasing goodbye towards the stranger. When he looked back at the seat opposite him he saw that it was empty. His eyebrows knitted together in a frown. He must’ve left already. He huffed. Well that sucks. There goes satisfying his kink. He let out a sigh. He supposed it could still serve as some form of masturbation material. There was always the power of imagination.  
He stood up to make his way over to the exit. The train seemed to be emptying itself, people rushing to get off and make their way home. It didn’t look like very many people were boarding the train which meant that this was one of the stops far out from the CBD. Which meant that Kyungsoo’s wallet was going to cry when he ubered home.   
He hopped out of the train just before the doors were announced to be closing. He watched as the it pulled out of the station. Maybe the guy was still on there and had realised Kyungsoo was a fellow male, so he’d moved to another compartment. Or maybe…Kyungsoo sighed. He was tired and needed to just go home and jack off to the days events before falling asleep. But first he needed to adjust his underwear because they were starting to really hurt being shoved between his cheeks. He turned away from the train tracks and glanced up at the ceiling to look for a sign pointing to a bathroom. His eyes had landed on the male one and he was about to walk over to it when something tapped his shoulder. He turned around only to be met with a broad chest. This situation was familiar. He looked up and lo and behold, handsome stranger stood before him. The guy smiled that Hercules smile once again.   
“Hey. I almost lost you there.” It took a lot of will power to draw his eyes away from the guys immaculate skin and seemingly soft moving lips and realise that he was talking to Kyungsoo. “I was going to come over to you to say hi but when I got to your seat you were gone. I must’ve lost you in the crowd.”  
Kyungsoo didn’t know how to respond to this. This hot hunk of man was looking for him? Itty-bitty little Kyungsoo with pale as paper skin and skinny legs? He was starting to sweat. It was one thing attempting to flirt with the guy from afar dressed in women’s clothes. It was an entirely different scenario talking to him face to face in the outfit. “Oh,” was all he replied with.   
The guy didn’t seem bothered by this. He let out a deep chuckle that made Kyungsoo shiver.   
“This actually isn’t my stop. But I figured it wouldn’t be too bad if I got off here and just took the next one.” He was smiling again. “Is this your stop?”  
Kyungsoo shook his head, “No I don’t.” His face was sounding husky. He cleared his throat and tried again, softer this time. “I mean I don’t stay around here. I missed my err…stop a while back.” Kyungsoo chuckled nervously.  
The guy seemed to find this amusing and the corner of mouth drew up in a smirk, “I’m sorry about that,” he teased.  
Kyungsoo snorted. “Don’t flatter yourself. It wasn’t because of you. I didn’t even notice you.”  
The guy frowned a bit. Shit. That came out snappier than he intended. He was probably offended now. This is not how you flirt Kyungsoo.  
Kyungsoo smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind his ears. This is feminine right? Oh god now he was being rude and sexist. “So, why’d you decide to get off here?”, he asked to change the subject.  
The stranger looked confused for a second. “Oh um, to talk you?” He said in a tone that seemed as if Kyungsoo should’ve known this. “I realised I didn’t have your number, so I figured I’d hop off and get it from you since we couldn’t really talk on the train.”  
Kyungsoo snorted. He ‘realised’. Was this how guys got girls numbers?   
“My phones kind of dead but you can just read it to me and I’ll write it on this paper. A bit primitive but it’ll do.” The stranger was laughing at his own joke. The deep chuckles making his broad shoulders shake. Sexy shoulders he might add.   
It was a lame joke, but Kyungsoo read out his number anyways as the guy took it down.  
He recited it back to Kyungsoo to make sure it was correct before pocketing the piece of paper and beaming once again.  
“Better keep that piece of paper safe now….?” Kyungsoo let his voice drift, waiting for the guy to fill in his name for him.  
But he didn’t seem to get the hint as he just stood there smiling stupidly down at Kyungsoo. He looked up at the stranger expectantly, twirling his hand in front of himself to encourage him. The guy seemed to finally understand, his smile faltering a bit.  
“Oh sorry. Jongin. It’s Jongin.” He was still smiling but it was significantly droopier.  
Kyungsoo shifted on his feet uncomfortably. “Well Jongin, it was nice to meet you. I’m- “A loud chime interrupted Kyungsoo’s sentence. That damn voice was back on the speaker. Surely by now people knew to not stand in the way of the doors or which station it was. Jongin had also looked up at the sound of the announcer and then quickly glanced back at the train pulling into the station.  
“That’s my ride. Can’t miss it this time.” He laughed. “It was really nice catching up with you. You look…” There was a red tint to his cheek at this, “Good. This new look is really nice on you.” The guy was full on blushing now. “Only wish we could’ve talked for longer.” Catching up? Huh? “But I’ll probably see you around.” The voice was back on the speaker announcing the trains departure soon. “Shit, I have to go.” He was walking backwards to the train, “It was really nice to see you Kyungsoo!” And then he was running towards to the doors, squeezing in just in time before they closed. He waved at Kyungsoo through the window as the train pulled away.  
Kyungsoo stood there, waving back. What a cute boy. A bit dorky but cute nonetheless. And with a nice name to boot. “Jongin”, he said to himself out loud, testing it on his tongue. Kyungsoo turned around and began to walk towards the exit. He was already pulling out his phone to order his uber and text Baekhyun about the hunk he’d just seen on the train.  
He stopped short in the middle of the station. Wait.   
Holy shit.   
Jongin.   
Kyungsoo wanted to throw up. Jongin as in friend of Sehun as in Baekhyuns fuck buddy. That Jongin?  
Oh fuck. Kyungsoo could feel a headache coming on.   
He was an idiot. The biggest idiot there was. He should’ve known when Jongin said his name. He hadn’t told him his name throughout their entire conversation. There’s no way he could’ve known.   
But he did. He knew Kyungsoo.   
And now he knew Kyungsoo’s secret too.  
He needed a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the update after two years. This chapter and the following ones will be different because my writing style has changed over the years. Hope you can still enjoy it. Any comments, critisicm and suggestions would be appreciated and loved and cherished and pls I'm starved for feedback. <3 Hope you enjoooyyed


	3. Of Grape juice and Glass doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to party.

“I’m not going.”

Baekhyun hums and pretends to agree, as he continues looking through Kyungsoo’s closet. “Aha! This is a cute lil’ number. And we can pair it with that nice black skinny I bought you. If I can just find it.”

Kyungsoo swivels around on his chair. “You mean the one I threw away?”

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at this. “First of all, you would’ve donated it. And second, nice try. But that won’t stop me. We’re going to make you look hot and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Kyungsoo snorts and turns back to his laptop. This semester is the busiest one yet, with his professors piling assignment upon assignment. Not to mention still having to studying for his upcoming tests. He hopes vac comes quickly because he needs it. Which is why going to this party is completely out of the question. Its smack dab in the middle of the semester and even if he had free time, he still wouldn’t go. Kyungsoo was no introvert, he enjoyed the occasional gathering of friends. But campus parties like these with excessive drinking and smoking were a strict no. So why Baekhyun was still here when he knew all that was a mystery.

“Okay Kyungsoo. Real talk quick. I know blacks a slimming colour, not saying you’re fat, you’re looking great, but sometimes I worry I’ve gone colour blind when I look at your cupboard. Literally the most colourful thing here is navy blue.” He held out several dark t-shirts.

Kyungsoo looked back over his shoulder at Baekhyun. He put a hand to his chin as if in deep thought and squinted at the different shirts. Baekhyun looked hopeful. “That one’s more of a dark grey,” Kyungsoo says after almost a minute of silence and points at one of the shirts.

Baekhyun throws one of the t-shirts in his hand at Kyungsoo, but there’s a smile on his face, “Ya, I’m serious here. I want you to look good, but you have to be comfortable with it too.”

Kyungsoo starts typing on his laptop once again. “I am comfortable. Here at home where I shall remain.”

Baekhyun whines and flops down onto his bed and wriggles around in a fit. “But I want to go! We haven’t gone out in ages. All you want to do is be productive.”

Kyungsoo laughs at this. “The problem with that being…?”

He rolls over onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows and looks at Kyungsoo with a serious expression. “The problem is that you’re stressing yourself out unnecessarily Kyungsoo. Its good to be productive and all but sometimes you need to take a breather and allow yourself to slack off a bit. And I barely see you anymore,” he says, “We don’t spend time together because you’re always either cooped up in your room working or studying in the library.” Baekhyun pouts. “This is neglect.” 

Kyungsoo is quiet. He does tend to overwork himself. It’s just how he operates. It also doesn’t help that his field of study is a particularly intense one. But he supposes a break is in order. “I guess I can take a break for today,” he replies. 

“Yes finally! You are seeing the light!” exclaims Baekhyun. He gets up to back-hug Kyungsoo, almost choking him from how tight he squeezes. 

Kyungsoo pushes him away with a laugh and goes to save his work and shut down his laptop. 

“There’s only a couple hours before it starts, and I still need to go home and get changed. So you better decide quickly what you’re going to wear so I can decide whether I like it or whether we’re donating it.” He states with a smile before he’s back in Kyungsoo’s closet digging around. 

“I’m still not going though.” 

Baekhyun whips around fast with his mouth hanging open in shock. “What? But I thought we just agreed that-“

Kyungsoo gets up and picks up the clothes strewn around the room. “No. I agreed to take the day off. Not to go to the party. Why you insist on going I don’t know.” He shrugs. 

“It’s Sehun’s birthday.” 

“You don’t even like Sehun.” 

Baekhyun huffs. “I do too.” 

Kyungsoo finishes picking up and folding all the clothes. He picks up the pile and shoves it into Baekhyuns hands. “No, you like his cock.” 

“So! What’s wrong with that?” 

Kyungsoo sighs and crosses him arms. “It’s wrong, because you have a boyfriend.” 

Baekhyun spins around and packs the clothes into Kyungsoos closet, slamming the door harshly. “Had a boyfriend. And I no longer do. I am now single and happy to be.” 

Kyungsoo tentatively places a hand on Baekhyuns shoulder. “You know it doesn’t have to be like that?” 

He doesn’t get a response. Baekhyun stands in silence with his hand still on the shut door. 

“You need only whistle and he’d come running back to you in a heartbeat like a lovesick puppy. Iceland isn’t that far,” Kyungsoo says with a tiny smile. 

He manages to make Baekhyun laugh. “And this is exactly why you’re a medical student, not a geography student.” 

Kyungsoo puts on a pretend shocked face, “You offend me. I have a great sense of direction.” 

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, “Coming from the guy who got lost on a train and ended up halfway across town. And who’s uber I had to pay for.” He gives Kyungsoo a pointed look, “You know I don’t mind paying for you, but an explanation would be nice.” 

Oh god. He’d just managed to forget about that. It was mortifying when he realized he didn’t have enough cash on him to afford the uber home and he was not ready to step onto another train again. His only option was to phone Baekhyun and ask him to pay for his uber through card. Baekhyun being more 

financially stable. He’s one hundred percent sure Baekhyun would’ve picked Kyungsoo up himself if he hadn’t been at work. Kyungsoo thanks whatever spirits are looking out for him every day for that. It would’ve been very difficult to explain his state of dress to Baekhyun. But he still hadn’t exactly explained what he, Kyungsoo who stays home, and studies all day was doing in an unknown area by himself. He had mentioned how he’d bumped into Jongin. Which incited suspicious smirks from Baekhyun and an Oh did you now. You going to be bumping into him more often now hmm. 

Which received a hit from Kyungsoo. He didn’t want to ever see Jongin again. It was part of the reason he’d avoided going out. He was still embarrassed from the encounter and didn’t want to risk bumping into Jongin or anyone for that matter. No matter how unlikely that would be. But he didn’t know which university Jongin attended or where he lived. So right now, the outside world was off limits. As well as dressing up and going out. He still dressed up in his skirt sometimes when his roommates weren’t home but mostly it just served to remind him of the whole incident which made him embarrassed. So, he’d thrown himself into work instead, to forget about it all. 

“You know, it doesn’t have to be like that for you either.” Baekhyun’s words break into Kyungsoos thoughts. 

He doesn’t know what he means, and it shows on his face. 

“You don’t have to be alone either. Jongin’s a nice guy. And he’s hot! I hear he dances, and I bet those hips really know how to pound hard and fast right onto- “

Kyungsoo feels his whole face heat up. He shoots up from the bed and walks over to his bedroom door, “No no, absolutely not.” 

“Come on! You can’t NOT find him attractive. You’ve seen the guy! And he’ll be at Sehun’s party.” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. 

“All the more reason not to go.” Kyungsoo says as he exits the room and goes into the common lounge, he shares with his roommates. Now he absolutely was not going to Sehuns party. He’d spent weeks trying to avoid Jongin and he wasn’t going to waste all his efforts by going to a place where he was guaranteed to see him. But Baekhyun was a stubborn ass and wasn’t going to drop it. Unless Kyungsoo managed to distract him long enough that it’d be too late for them to go. All he needed was something shiny or abs. 

“Don’t you run away from me! We’re going and that’s final!”, Baekhyun shouts from the room. 

Shit. This was going to be difficult. He glances around the room in panic. Maybe he can fake being sick…

“And I don’t care if you’re sick! Some fresh air will help,” Kyungsoo hears but this time its from right behind him. 

“But I really don’t want to- “ 

“Please?”, Baekhyun says in that serious voice that Kyungsoo knows means Baekhyun isn’t joking. “It’ll be good for you.” Kyungsoo stays quiet. “I won’t force you to talk to Jongin and we can leave whenever you want.” 

Kyungsoo sighs. He puts a hand to his temples and rubs at the corners of his eyes. He was such a softy. “You really want to go?”, he turns to Baekhyun and asks. 

Baekhyun nods with a pout. 

“And you won’t force me to talk to Jongin?”, he asks. Baekhyuns pout vanishes and is replaced by a smile as he realizes Kyungsoo is considering going. 

“Jongin is cancelled!”, he replies. 

“And we go home when I say we do?” 

Baekhyun is positively beaming. “Aye, aye Captain,” he says with a two-fingered salute. 

Kyungsoo snorts and swats at Baekhyun, “You’re dumb. Go home and get dressed before I change my mind.” 

But Baekhyun is already running out the door, and almost forgets to grab his keys from the counter in his rush. 

“And don’t be late!” Kyungsoo shouts out the door at Baekhyun who’s halfway down the corridor. He walks out the door, jogging slightly to catch up to Baekhyun who is at the stairs leading to the ground floor already. “I want to be there as early as possible before everyone else gets there. Then we can leave as early as possible too,” Kyungsoo states with stern look. 

“Yes of course. Be back soon!”, Baekhyun replies with a smile before disappearing down the stairs. 

He was not back soon. 

And they were now very very late. Which meant everyone would already be there when they arrived. Jongin would likely be there already. Kyungsoo groaned in frustration from the passenger seat. This night was not going to go well at all. Baekhyun looked over to him, “And now? What’s the matter? Did you realize how plain your outfit looks? Well it’s too late. We’re here already.” 

“It’s too late, because someone took two hours getting done.”, Kyungsoo replies. Baekhyun chuckles nervously from the driver seat, “Oops. But look we’re here now!”, he says before getting out of the car. 

Kyungsoo wishes they were anywhere but here right now. 

He waits for Baekhyun to lock the car and finish checking his hair in the rearview mirror before they head up the pathway to a very big house. This was where Sehun lived? The property seemed to stretch on forever and was that…was that a forest behind it? And tennis courts? 

“Baekhyun, are you sure this is the right house?” He questions, because while Kyungsoo wasn’t poor he was by no means this rich. And neither was Baekhyun. But they all went to the same school which was not a fancy school, just your regular old highschool. So why Sehun would go there and not to a private one was beyond him. 

“Last time I was here, it was. So as long as he didn’t move or give me the wrong address then yes Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun replies, before stepping up to the front door and ringing the doorbell. They could hear music from inside and loud shouting before the door was opened and Sehun appeared. 

“Hey, you two finally made it,” he says with a smile. “I was about to call you to make sure you were still coming.” Kyungsoo watched as his eyes roamed up and down Baekhyuns figure, who was dressed in skin tight black ripped jeans and a very open at the chest shirt. 

Baekhyun smiled at this and stepped up onto the threshold of the doorway and very close to Sehun, “Oh I’ll always come for you.” 

Kyungsoo gagged. He knew where this was going but he wasn’t going to let it happen when he was still standing right here. They had just arrived. 

“Uh happy birthday Sehun,” he said loudly and shoved the gift Baekhyun had made him carry, in between the two of them and against Sehuns chest, which forced Sehun to step back. 

“Oh, thanks Kyungsoo. You really didn’t have to.”, he smiled at Kyungsoo. 

“I didn’t want to.” 

Sehuns smile faltered, “What?” 

Baekhyun shoved Kyungsoo inside harshly with a whispered, “Shush,” before turning to Sehun, “Kyungsoo means he didn’t want to show up empty handed. Speaking of, my hands are quite empty mind showing me where I can get a drink please Sehunnie?” 

“Of course! Let me give you guys a tour too. Its quite big and I wouldn’t want you two getting lost.” 

Sehun leads them, or leads Baekhyun, further into the house. The music is loud and gets louder as they head to what seems to be a lounge. The room is packed full of people dancing and grinding to the music. And others doing questionable things. Ew. Kyungsoo makes a note not to sit anywhere. He tries not to but finds himself searching around the room for Jongin. If he plays his cards right, he can grab a bunch of snacks from the snack table and sneak off to a quiet place to wait it out. He’d prefer to leave right now but he can’t be that cruel. He at least needs to wait a while. He follows Sehun and Baekhyun over to a bar which Sehun goes behind. 

“So, what can I get you two?”, he asks them both before turning to Baekhyun, “A blowjob perhaps?” 

Kyungsoo cringes. This guy can’t get any worse…

Baekhyun leans in on the counter and purrs, “I can definitely go for one of those.” 

But Baekhyun can apparently. “Sehun, do you maybe have juice or water?”, Kyungsoo interrupts. 

They break eye contact to look over at Kyungsoo. “You’re not drinking?”, Sehun asks. “I can make you anything,” he turns to Baekhyun again, “I’m very good with my hands.” 

“NO! Thank you. I have to drive us home.” Kyungsoo says loudly. 

Baekhyun laughs, “Kyungsoo’s not much of a drinker anyways.” 

Sehun nods, “Gotcha. Well there’s no juice here but there should be in the kitchen. It’s through that doorway, to your left down the hallway, it’s the first one to your right. You can’t miss it.” 

Kyungsoo looks over at the direction Sehun pointed. He doesn’t trust himself to not get lost in this maze of a house and is about to ask Sehun to show him when he sees that they’re already doing…unmentionable things. 

Once again it was time for Kyungsoo to take his leave. 

He squeezed through the crowd of people, trying to avoid as much contact as possible, before finally making it to the doorway. It was quieter in the hallway, but there were still a few people standing around chatting. He turned left like Sehun said and walked down the hallway. It was one of those fancy ones with sculptures, plants and paintings lining the wall. He stopped occasionally to look at some of them, trying his best to waste time, taking a few odd turns to just explore. There were fewer people the further into the house he travelled, which was nice because it was quiet, and it meant he could dawdle here until it was time to go. Eventually he grew tired of exploring and backtracked to make his way to the kitchen. 

He was worried he’d taken a wrong turn before he came across a big doorway leading into a pristine and well-lit kitchen. It was massive. He walked inside, vowing to remain here for the rest of the evening, hell he could even live in this kitchen with how big it was, when he looked to the other end of the room and realized he wasn’t alone. A guy and a girl stood standing by two glass sliding doors leading outside to what looked like a swimming pool in the middle of a forest. He’s about to make a quick dash to the fridge for some water and hopefully slip out again unnoticed when he sees who it is. 

Shit. 

Standing leaning against the doorframe, looking casually like he’s modeling jeans, is Jongin. The very Jongin he’s been trying to avoid. And who he traveled deep into he depths of a mansion to avoid. He seriously has the worst luck. 

The girl Jongin was talking to seemed to be very obviously flirting with him. She laughed and touched his arm lightly whenever he said something presumably funny. It can’t have been that funny for her to laugh like a horse like that. A very pretty horse though. Unfair. She was wearing a black leather skirt and a striped crop tee that showed off all her curves nicely. Kyungsoo looked down at his plain black jeans and long sleeve shirt paired with a cardigan and felt a pang of jealousy. He wasn’t that thirsty anymore. He turned around to head back the way he’d came when he bumped into a chest. 

“Woah careful there, Kyungsoo,” said Sehun very loudly, “You were gone for a while and Baekhyun got worried so he sent me- ”, Kyungsoo slapped a hand to Sehuns mouth. 

“Shh, shut up. They’re going to hear us.” he whispered fiercely. 

But Sehun was stronger and easily pulled away Kyungsoos hand, “What the fuck dude? Who are you talking ab- “

“Sehun? That you bro?” came Jongins voice from inside the kitchen. 

Kyungsoo froze. Oh shit. They’d been discovered. But surely if he ran, he could still make it. He hadn’t been revealed yet. Only Sehun. He tried to squeeze behind Sehun and run down the hallway but Sehun held him in place. He looked up into the eyes of the would-be devil. Sehun was smirking down at him with a knowing look. Oh no. 

“Yeah it’s me Jongin and I brought a friend.”, he shouted into the kitchen, still smiling that creepy smile down at Kyungsoo. 

The colour drained from Kyungsoos face. He shook his head at Sehun, mouthing, “Fuck no,” and struggled furtively to get out of his hold. But Sehun simply twirled him around to face the kitchen and pushed him inside. 

“Surprise! Look who it is! Oh Soojung, you’re here too?” said Sehun as he pushed Kyungsoo into the lion’s den. Kyungsoo was going to kill him. He was going to kill Baekhyun too for bringing him to this party. He didn’t dare look over at where Jongin was standing. 

“Hey Kyungsoo,” said Jongin. Kyungsoo didn’t reply until Sehun squeezed his arm. 

He finally looked up at the person he’d been trying to avoid. He was staring at Kyungsoo hopefully. 

“Hey.” He replied, not wanting to incite further conversation. 

There was an awkward silence for a bit before Sehun spoke, “Uh Kyungsoo I don’t believe you’ve met Soojung.” He guided Kyungsoo over to where Jongin and the girl, now called Soojung stood by the door. “Kyungsoo here is an old friend from the highschool Jongin and I went to.” 

“Nice to meet you Kyungsoo,” she smiled prettily. Damn, everything this girl did, she did prettily. No wonder Jongin seemed to like her. He looked over to Jongin who was still staring at Kyungsoo but at his shoulder now where Sehuns hands were still holding onto him. 

Sehun looked between the two of them before letting go of Kyungsoo. “Soojung I think Amber might have been looking for you?” 

The girl, Soojung, glanced at her phone then back at Sehun, “That’s weird. I didn’t get any texts from her.” 

“That’s so weird! She said it was very urgent,” Sehun said while guiding Soojung out the door, “We better hurry quickly.” 

Soojung was looking back over her shoulder at Jongin while being pushed out the door, “But wait I’ll just text her to see what’s-“

“No no it seemed very urgent to me. We should go straight to her,” was the last thing Sehun said before they disappeared down the hallway. 

Kyungsoo stared at the doorway from the spot where Sehun had left him. Left him alone. With Jongin. Maybe if I just start walking away and don’t say anything, he won’t try to talk to me. 

“It’s been a while Kyungsoo.” 

No such luck. May as well get this over with. 

He turned around to face Jongin, plastering a strained smile to his face. “Yeah. Long time no see,” Kyungsoo replied with hesitant laugh. He wanted to run straight out of the room. But that would be rude and while Kyungsoo was embarrassed and uncomfortable he didn’t want to hurt Jongin’s feelings. He was looking down at Kyungsoo with the goofiest damn mile. What gave him the right to be so happy and cute when Kyungsoo was dying of embarrassment. 

“I actually tried to text you,” started Jongin, “But I think it may have been the wrong number because I never got a reply.” 

“No, it was the right number,” Kyungsoo answered with a straight face. 

Jongins smile faltered, “Oh.” He replied quietly. Fuck now he’d hurt his feelings. Now it was even more awkward. 

Jongin coughed to clear his throat and spoke, “I don’t know if-I just thought I should say that I- the way you were on the train, I,” he coughed again and shuffled his feet awkwardly, “You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone. I mean it’s a completely acceptable thing.” 

Woah woah, were they actually talking about it now? 

“Hell its 2018 you know”, now Jongin was rambling, “and I don’t judge but I can still understand not wanting it to be completely out there so yeah, I won’t say a word to anyone. But I mean if you want to talk to me about it, I’m like all ears and I won’t judge,” he repeated. Jongin was a bit red in the face at the end of his very embarrassing rant, but he was still smiling hesitantly. 

Kyungsoo sighed. He was hoping that he could get away with that topic not being brought up, but it seems that wasn’t possible. He would just have to be clear with Jongin so he wouldn’t get any ideas. 

Kyungsoo crossed his arms and looked sternly at Jongin. Up at Jongin. Why was this guy so fucking tall? 

“Look,” Kyungsoo began, “What you saw on the train. Or what you think you saw, is never happening again. It was unfortunate that you had to see me like that and I’m sure you just want to forget-“

“No, no not at all. I thought you looked really good,” Jongin interrupted, turning red when he realized what he’d said. “I mean you-it suited you it wasn’t unfortunate,” he ended. 

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to blush now. It’s not like he’d forgotten that Jongin had said he’d liked Kyungsoos ‘new look’ but at the time he genuinely thought Jongin thought he was a girl. Now he was discovering Jongin knew it was Kyungsoo all along and still thought he looked good. Kyungsoo looked out the glass door to try and calm his nerves. He cleared his throat and thought about something else to say just to change the subject. 

“So, Baekhyun mentioned you’re an art student as well. How’s that going?”, he questions to try and ease the tension. Since making an escape didn’t seem to be an option anymore, he may as well try to have a decent conversation. 

Jongin crosses his arms and nods down at Kyungsoo slowly. “It’s pretty fun actually. I’ve always had a passion for designing clothes. Although my methods have always been a bit rough and clearly self-taught,” He lets out a deep chuckle that makes Kyungsoo shiver. “So now I’m getting a more refined education on it. Although it’s a lot harder work than people think.” 

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at this. “Hard work you say?” 

Jongins laugh is even louder and it seems to shake his whole body. He holds up his hands in front of his chest in mock surrender. “Easy there. It’s maybe not as hard as medicine, I’ll admit.” 

Kyungsoo tilts his chin up at this and gives a small smile. Talking to Jongin wasn’t turning out to be that bad. He could feel himself relaxing more, the earlier embarrassment and nerves waning. “I’ll have you know it’s an absolute breeze. ” 

Jongin laughs. “Of course, it is. And you’re in what? Your third year now right?” He tilts his head to the side in a totally not cute way when he says this. 

Kyungsoo nods. “Yep. Still got a long while to go though. But it’ll all be worth it.” 

Jongin hums in agreement. They stand in a comfortable silence for a while. The sliding door leading to the garden is still open and a light breeze flows in, making Kyungsoo shiver. He probably should’ve brought a jacket. Jongin notices this. “Are you getting cold? I’d close the door but Sehuns dog comes in and out through here so he leaves it open.” He stares down at Kyungsoo with a concerned look. “We can head back inside if you want. It’s probably warmer than the kitchen.” 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. He wasn’t really in the mood to head back inside surprisingly, even though just a few minutes ago he was itching to run away. Being in a cold kitchen with Jongin was better than being in a crowded room that was loud and filled with drunk people. Most likely a drunk Baekhyun too. 

“No, I’m okay here.” He thinks about what Sehun said about Baekhyun looking for him and frowns. “Although I should probably text Baekhyun to let him know where I am.” He checks his phone and see’s that Baekhyun did in fact text him asking where he’d disappeared too. He texts a quick reply saying he’d discovered a secret lair and was fighting evil monsters in Sehuns dungeon. With a smile he pocketed his phone again before looking back at Jongin who had been watching him the entire time. 

“You and Baekhyun are really close huh?” he asks. 

Kyungsoo shrugs. “We’ve known each other since high school.” He and Baekhyun had a long history that he wasn’t sure he was willing to share with Jongin. No matter how cute and trustworthy he was. 

But Jongin seemed to want to know more. “If you don’t mind me asking, Baekhyun is in second year like me. But you’re in your third? Did he…,” Jongin hesitated then said quietly, “Fail or something?” 

Kyungsoo laughed. “No he didn’t fail. Baekhyun may seem a bit empty in the head but he’s quite smart. He took a gap year after highschool to travel and work. It didn’t turn out so well though so he came back home to study.” 

“Oh I see.” Jongin nodded as if it all made sense now. 

“He’s still an idiot though.” Kyungsoo deadpanned. 

Jongin let out another loud laugh. He smiled that blinding pearly-white filled smile down at Kyungsoo. Damn he needed sunglasses to witness that smile. “You’re something else Kyungsoo,” he said while shaking his head. 

Kyungsoo blushed. What did that mean? Was this bastard insulting him now? “Whats that supposed to mean?” he questioned. But Jongins smile only got wider and he didn’t reply. 

They lapsed into another silence. Maybe it was finally time Kyungsoo took his leave. It had probably been long enough that Baekhyun wouldn’t protest to going home now. He was about to announce it when Jongin cleared his throat and interrupted him. 

“If it’s not weird or anything,” Jongin was silent for a bit. He seemed to be mustering up the courage to say something, “If it’s not weird, could I ask you about it?” 

Kyungsoo was very confused. “Ask about?”, he asked to confirm. 

“About your, you know.” Jongin was gesturing with his hands to try and get his point across. “The way you,” his cheeks were starting to turn a pinkish colour, “The way you were dressed on the train.” 

Oh no. Were they back to this again? He thought they’d finally managed to drop the topic forever and were never going to bring it up again. Not that Kyungsoo was ever planning to see Jongin again. And clearly Jongin was not going to stop asking about it. 

Jongin seemed to take Kyungsoos lack of response as a no and began sputtering apologies profusely. “I didn’t mean to be too forward or anything it’s just that well I thought you looked really nice in the skirt and I’ve kind of been in a slump creatively for a while,” Jongin was rambling once again, “and like when I saw you it made me want to start designing and drawing again. But only so you would wear it really so I guess you could say you’re my muse of sorts.” Jongin ended off. He was almost panting by the end of it with how fast he’d said everything. And what had he even said? Muse? Kyungsoo? Too short and in no way model or muse material Kyungsoo? Did he really think that? 

Jongin was wringing his hands in anxiousness now, “I really didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries. I really was just curious.” 

Kyungsoo found himself sighing once again. He supposes that Jongins intentions weren’t bad. He didn’t seem the type to expose Kyungsoo to the world and ridicule him. Just this time…this one time maybe he could trust Jongin. 

“No, it’s okay.” He picked at a piece of imaginary lint on his shirt. “I don’t really mind you asking.” He said quietly. Jongin didn’t respond and Kyungsoo wondered if he’d even heard him. he looked up from staring at his shirt to look at Jongin. He was looking at Kyungsoos face intently. Was there something on his face. He held up a hand to his cheek to check. Didn’t seem like it. Jongins eyes just flickered over to trail the hand on his cheek now. Was there something wrong with this kid? 

“Are you going to ask me or what?”, he said a bit snappily, getting tired of waiting for him to stop his weird staring thing and ask Kyungsoo what he wanted to know. This seemed to snap Jongin out of whatever daze he was in and caused him to blush in embarrassment. 

“Yeah,” He rasped out, coughing to clear his throat, “Yeah I am. Um.” 

Jongins pearly whites reveal themselves as he bites his lip in contemplation. His eyebrows furrowed together as he occasionally parted his lips to speak only to purse his lips again as he apparently changed his mine. This went on for a little while and Kyungsoo grew bored. He had come to the kitchen in search of something to drink and he still hadn’t gotten anything. He had also talked way more than he was used to, in the past what? Half an hour? His throat was dry. He didn’t want to interrupt Jongins internal monologue, but he was getting thirsty. And hungry too. Maybe if he slowly inched towards the fridge while Jongin was busy pondering he could pour himself something to drink so long. All the while Kyungsoo was planning his mission, Jongin had started to speak. 

“This may be forward but, and I’m not really sure to go about asking it,” Jongin stuttered out, “I really really don’t mean to offend you or anything,” he rambled while shaking his head profusely, “Not that there is anything at all offensive about it but asking you it may be the offensive or intrusive thing you know, so I just…” Jongin trails off. He looked down at Kyungsoo who was staring expectantly up at him. “Do you consider yourself to be um,” he paused to clear his throat before saying with shaky confidence, “Transgender?Or transitioning? I’m not sure what it’s called I really hope I didn’t say the wrong thing…”

Kyungsoo stared at Jongin for about half a minute without saying anything. Then pursing his lips and looking off to the side out the glass door behind Jongin, he responded, “Transgender?” 

Jongin looked mortified. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry was that too forward? I really don’t know how to ask…”

Kyungsoo laughed. Jongin was curious but his awkwardness seemed to be preventing him from asking Kyungsoo what he wanted to know. He supposes he could be nice and help him out for once. 

He turns back to Jongin and replies, “No I’m not transgender. Or transitioning. To be honest with you,” Kyungsoo frowned and looked down at the floor. “I’m not quite sure what it means to me.” He said quietly. 

Jongin seemed to have lost some of his nerves when Kyungsoo had responded camly, because his voice was gentler, and he wasn’t stumbling over his words when he asked, “When you say that do you mean,” he paused, “Dressing up?” 

Kyungsoo nodded. “Yeah.” He smoothed over his cardigan and crossed his arms. “Dressing in girl’s clothing.” 

He was trying to be relaxed and calm. But inside his heart was racing. He’d never actually talked to anyone about his predicament. Sure, people could say all they want about it being 2018 and the world being a oh so happy and accepting place where everyone loved homosexuals. But it was a front. People weren’t accepting. People still stared and judged and made comments and enjoyed shoving their opinions in people’s faces. Kyungsoo wasn’t much for confrontations. He was a tough cookie, but he had his tender spots that even he couldn’t bear to have exposed. But sometimes he needed to breathe too. And asking that of 

Baekhyun was too much. That was a whole other drama. But maybe he could ask that of Jongin. But Jongin was tip-toeing around Kyungsoo like he was glass. Unwilling to ask him the questions that Kyungsoo needed him to so he could open up. So Kyungsoo would just have to ease him into it. 

“I’ve never talked to anyone about it before.” He says loudly. His heart is racing but he can do this. He sticks his arms to his sides, hands curling into small fists. “You’re…” Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, “You’re the first person I’ve talked to about this.” 

Jongin looks surprised for a second, eyebrows raised and mouth forming a round o shape. “Not even Baekhyun?” 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Baekhyun has…he has a lot on his plate most of the time. I wouldn’t want to add my inner kink crisis to his list.” He blushes when he realizes what he said. Kink? Really? 

Jongin holds a finger to his chin and nods his head, as if truly contemplating it. Was he really that concerned about Baekhyun? Wow, and here Kyungsoo thought he was interested in him. “So, it’s a kink of yours then?” 

Kyungsoo splutters. “I didn’t say that.” He looks away from Jongin. That was probably a bit too much too fast. 

Jongin smiles, “No no, you’ve brought it up now. Can’t just let it go. Afterall…,” he leans down to Kyungsoos height, invading his personal space quite frankly. But he’s getting a faint whiff of Jongins cologne mixed with sweat and he can’t be bothered to push him away, so he doesn’t and lets Jongin get close. Where did this sudden boldness come from? What happened to awkward fumbling Jongin who couldn’t even get a word out? 

“Afterall,” Jongin repeats, “I’m the first person you trusted with this right?” He’s really close now, so much so that his warm breath blows against Kyungsoos nose. Which is a bit cold to be honest. If he wanted to, he could stand on his tiptoes and lean up to kiss him. But he won’t. Because that’s absurd. 

He holds in his breath and steps back to put some distance in them. He lets out his breath and allows himself to breathe. Satisfied that he can no longer smell Jongin. He smiles and looks up at him. 

“Are you thirsty? I am.” He doesn’t wait for a reply and instead walks over to the fridge on the other side of the kitchen. He opens it up and sticks his head inside. “You’ve been here before, right? Could you get me a glass please?” 

Jongin didn’t respond and Kyungsoo was about to repeat himself when he heard Jongins footsteps. He glanced over his shoulder at Jongin as walked over to one of the upper cupboards, Kyungsoo would’ve never been able to reach it anyways, opening it and taking out two glasses. He set them down on the counter and closed the cupboard, before resting both his hands on the counter. He didn’t turn around. 

Kyungsoo stared at Jongins back. What was it now? Was he sulking because Kyungsoo didn’t answer him? It was just all a little bit too much too fast. He didn’t really mind he supposed, it’s just that Jongin was so close and smelled good. This is why it was never good to entertain younger men, they were all too childish. He grabbed the nearest bottle of juice from the fridge and closed the door. 

“I wouldn’t ever…” Jongin suddenly spoke. “I won’t ever betray your trust. What you tell me stays between us. But I would never,” Jongin was gripping onto the counter so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, “I would never force you to do or share anything with me. It’s your choice. I’m not that type of…”, his hands squeezed the counter harder, “I’m not that type of person.” He said quietly. 

Kyungsoo stared at the juice in hand. Then back at Jongin. He walked over to him and unscrewed the cap of the juice bottle, pouring the contents evenly into the two glasses. Jongins head turned slightly to look at Kyungsoos hands as he poured, eyes following him as he put the cap back on. 

“Red grape juice is the worst type of juice.” Kyungsoo points at the bottle that he just poured into their glasses. Jongin looks up confusedly at Kyungsoo. “It’s way too sweet. It sometimes tastes like wine, and it doesn’t smell nice either.” 

Jongin still looks as lost as ever staring down at the glass as if it holds all the answers. Poor kid. 

“But the colour red. That’s the best colour there is.” Kyungsoo traces his fingers over the rim of one of the glasses. “And it looks best on me.” Jongins head whips up sharply to look at Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo is smiling. Got your attention now huh? 

“The first skirt I bought was a satin red skirt. I didn’t know at the time how much it suited me. I just bought it really for the feel of it.” He blushes at his own words. Why the hell was he telling all this to Jongin? He must’ve officially lost his mind. But his mouth wouldn’t co-operate. “I liked how the clothes felt on me. How it made me feel, you know?” He picked up the glass of juice and leaned against the counter taking a small sip from it and cringing at the taste. 

“How did it make you feel?” 

He almost didn’t hear Jongin with how softly he spoke. How could he respond? How did it make him feel? Sexy? Attractive? As if every man was staring at him worshipping him with their eyes and wanting to ravish him? Hard as a rock? He almost choked on his juice. 

“Pretty,” he says instead. “And happy.” Its true. Past all the kinky, sexual jazz, he always felt pretty in it. Not that he thought he wasn’t attractive outside of wearing womens clothing. Or that he needed to look like a girl to be pretty. But he liked getting to be a different kind of pretty sometimes. One that allowed him to wear skirts and dresses and not be shamed for it. 

Jongin stood up and nodded his head, “That’s all that matters.” He too picks up the glass on the counter and goes to take a sip. 

“But you know,” Jongin starts while staring into his glass. There’s a red tint to his cheeks, “To me, you always look pret-“

“Kyungsoo! Where’s my baby Kyungie!”, comes a loud and very drunk voice from the corridor, interrupting Jongin. 

Kyungsoo glances over at the doorway. “In here Baekhyun!”, he shouts. 

“Victory! We found the Soo-booty!”, a very flushed and wobbly Baekhyun says as he enters the kitchen with a slightly more stable but equally flushed Sehun struggling to hold the former up. “Where have you been? You went for juice and then never came back.” Baekhyun says as he walks over to lean against Kyungsoo, cuddling into his arm. “I missed you.” He whines out. 

“I tried to tell him you were fine but he insisted on finding you. He was going on about going to Iceland so I just brought him here,” Sehun says, sounding significantly less drunk than he looked. 

Kyungsoo sighs looking over at Baekhyun, “Thanks Sehun, I’ll take over from here.” He watches as Baekhyun leans against the counter, but unable to hold his own weight starts sliding down with a remark of ‘oh its slippery here, like me’. 

Sehun nods but stays standing there staring worriedly at Baekhyun, seemingly unsure. 

Jongin is left ignored on the sidelines, until Kyungsoo feels a tug on his arm. 

He looks behind him at Jongin who has a determined look in his eyes. “Can I ask you something quickly? Before you leave?” 

Kyungsoo glances at Baekhyun, unsure and not willing to leave him alone when Sehun interrupts, “I can watch him for now.” 

Kyungsoo supposed it was okay. It’s not like they could run away. Baekhyun could barely hold himself up. He was so getting an earful about responsible drinking.

He nodded and turned to Jongin. “We can talk but quickly, Baekhyun looks like he might fall asleep soon or throw up and I’d prefer none of them happen while we’re here.” 

Jongins response was to gesture for them to go outside through the sliding door into the garden. Kyungsoo regretted it the moment they stepped outside. It was a windy evening and also really late so it was cold outside. His light cardigan doesn’t offer much against the cold and he can’t stop himself from shivering. In seconds Jongin has his jacket off and is wrapping it around Kyungsoos shoulders. 

Was this a movie scene or something? Was he going to expect Kyungsoo to kiss him? He hoped not. He probably still tasted like grape juice. The jacket was laced with bad intentions. 

“Oh no I can’t, you’ll get cold.” He tried to give it back but Jongin kept pushing it back into his hands. 

“Please, keep it for now. I’m the one who made you come outside to talk,” Jongin pleads to Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo relents. “Okay but remind me to give it back before I leave,” he says and threads his arms in through the sleeves. It was still warm from being on Jongins body and the smell…there was no escaping it now. It was wrapped all around Kyungsoo like a warm blanket. Suffocating him and making him shiver for different reasons. 

“I want you to model for me,” Jongin says, breaking into Kyungsoos thoughts. 

Kyungsoo thinks he must’ve heard wrong because it sounded like he said Jongin asked him, tiny scrawny Kyungsoo to model for him. “Model for you?” He laughs waiting for Jongin to correct him. But Jongin just nods his head in agreement instead. 

That’s it then. Jongin has officially lost his mind. And he only spent an hour with him. Too bad, since he was kind of cute. 

Kyungsoo sucks in his bottom lip in thought then releases it and gives a quick smile. “You’re crazy, but it was nice talking to you Jongin. I’ll be going now.” With that he turns around to head back inside. 

Jongin starts panicking and as per usual, starts rambling. “No no please don’t leave. It’s not like modeling for a fashion show. Just for some designs. For me.” He stutters out, “My designs I mean, for uh, for my assignments.” 

Kyungsoo stops. “Your designs?” 

“Yes,” Jongin is nodding even though Kyungsoo still has his back turned. “Its for a portfolio. I mentioned it earlier and I meant it. I’ve been struggling to find motivation actually but when I,” He swallows hard, “When I saw you on the train, I suddenly felt an intense need to create something. But I want you to wear it. To try it on. I want to design it,” Kyungsoo turns around at this, “For you.” 

He looks Kyungsoo straight in the eyes as he says this. Kids got guts. Kyungsoo looks straight back, raising an eyebrow. Jongin blushes. “Because I think that generally feminine clothes really suit you and you have good proportions you know from a designer’s perspective so um…” He rambles, “That’s why.” 

Kyungsoo just hums in response. “And why should I do it?” 

Jongin looks stunned, “Excuse me?” 

“Why should I model for you?” 

Jongin is at a loss for words. “Well it uh…” he says, “It offers you a safe space to explore yourself and your crossdressing side.” Jongin finishes. 

Kyungsoo squints his eyes at Jongin and presses a finger to his chin, “Sounds a bit like exploitation to me…”

Jongin looks appalled, “No I wouldn’t dare. I really am sincere when I say that you’re my muse and I feel that you’d really-“

Kyungsoos laugh cuts Jongin off. He was wound way too tight. “Relax, I know you’d never dream of something like that. I’m just joking Jongin.” He smiles sincerely. 

“But to be honest,” He pauses, “I’m not sure I’m ready to do something like that yet.” 

Coming from someone who stepped onto a public train dressed in a skirt. Why was he such a hypocrite? Jongin was exactly what he wanted. Someone to appreciate him in that way. And here he was practically begging for him to do it and Kyungsoo was saying no? Fuck it. 

“But I suppose that it wouldn’t be a bad thing if I-“

“Kyungsoo! Come quick! I think Baekhyun passed out.” Oh of course. Just when he was about to be not-timid Kyungsoo for once and take the plunge. Jongin and Kyungsoo both turned their heads towards the kitchen at the sound of Sehuns voice. 

“Shit, not again,” Kyungsoo says. He gives Jongin an apologetic look. “Sorry about that. I really should take him home now.” 

“It’s not an issue, but about what you were going to say-“

“Kyungsoo!” comes Sehuns voice again. 

“I really should go, but I’ll text you.” Kyungsoo says before running inside to where Sehun is leaning against the counter, struggling to hold up a passed out Baekhyun. There is thankfully no vomit anywhere as Baekhyun tends to throw up before passing out. Although Sehuns screams would’ve been much louder if he had. 

Kyungsoo smiles at Sehun, “Thanks for the help, I’ll take him home now.” 

Baekhyun seems to regain consciousness as he’s transferred from Sehun’s arms to Kyungsoos. 

“…ungsoo,” Baekhyun drawls sleepily as they both help him down the corridor to the front door, Jongin trailing behind, “miss….yeol…” 

Kyungsoo feels his heart sink at that. 

“He’s been saying that the whole evening,” says Sehun, “I have no clue what he’s saying. ” 

Kyungsoo you idiot. He was so wrapped up in Jongin that he’d forgotten why drunk Baekhyun was such a hassle. And why he should’ve stuck around him to ensure he didn’t overdo it. Well too late now. 

“Thanks for the evening Sehun,” Kyungsoo says as he’s seating Baekhyun in the car and buckling his seatbelt. “Oh, and happy birthday. Hope you enjoyed it.” He says as he goes around to where Sehun stands by the open drivers side with the keys he held while Kyungsoo put Baekhyun in the car.

Sehun smirks and gives a friendly smack on Kyungsoos back, “I could say the same to you. I’m sure you enjoyed it more than me.” With a wink he drops the keys into Kyungsoos hands. 

Kyungsoo blushes and looks to the front door where Jongin stands watching them leave. He’s frowning at them from the distance and pouting. It makes Kyungsoo laugh. He lifts his hand and gives a tentative wave. The frown instantly disappears from Jongins face, replaced instead with a smile as he waves back eagerly at Kyungsoo. He steps out the door and is walking over to them. Why he didn’t follow Sehun with them to the car before, Kyungsoo isn’t sure but he’s glad he’s coming over to say a proper goodbye. Is he supposed to hug him? Shake his hand? Do a fist bump? He’s not sure what and it’s making him stressed. Is this how Jongin feels 24/7? 

He’s about to go meet Jongin halfway when Baekhyun starts groaning again. He seems to be sobering up more now because he’s looking around the car for Kyungsoo with a dazed expression and saying his name. Kyungsoo sighs and looks back up at Jongin who is still walking over to them. He shakes his head with a sad smile to tell Jongin not come and gives another wave before climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the car. 

Jongin stops in his path and stares at the car as it pulls away. 

“Hey, you going to stand outside and stare at the road all day Jongin?”, Sehun says from the door. 

He waits until they turn at the end of the road and disappear before Jongin turns and goes inside. 

Its only much later that they both realize Kyungsoo still has his jacket. 

Jongin smiles when he does and Kyungsoo just groans. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoi, it's here. Bit of a lengthy chapter with lot's of talking and not much doing. Hope you enjoyed. If anyone could help me out with ao3 formatting (Like the paragraph spacing and stuff) because I haven't got a clue how to do it, that would be super! you will be paid in love and care hehe <3 comments and criticism appreciated.


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